THE TÁ’IYYA (i) — vv. 1–199

Saqatní ḥumayya ’l-ḥubbi ráḥatu muqlatí
wa-ka’sí muḥayyá man ‘ani ’l-ḥusni jallati

(1) The hand of mine eye gave me love’s strong wine to drink, when my cup was the face of Her that transcendeth beauty,

(2) And in my drunkenness, by means of a glance I caused my comrades to fancy that it was the quaffing of their wine that gladdened my inmost soul,

(3) Although mine eyes made me independent of my cup, and my inebriation was derived from her qualities, not from my wine;

(4) Therefore in the tavern of my intoxication was the hour of my thanksgiving to youths through whom my love was completely hidden notwithstanding my celebrity (as a lover).

(5) And when my sobriety was ended, I sought union with her, and no restraint of fear affected me in my boldness towards her,

(6) And in the privacy of bridal unveiling, when no continuance of self-regard was beside me as a watcher, I declared to her that which I felt,

(7) And I said—my state bearing witness to my ardent love, and my finding her (in my heart) effacing me, whilst my losing her brings me back to myself

(8) “Bestow on me the glance of one who turns for a moment, ere Love makes pass away what remains in me (of self-existence) to see thee by.

(9) And if thou forbid that I see thee, favour mine hearing with, ‘Thou shalt not (see me)’: this word was sweet to another before me;

(10) For, because of my drunkenness, I have need of a recovery (from drunkenness) which, but for passion, would not break my heart.

(11) Had the mountains felt what I suffer, and were Sinai amongst them, they would have been razed to the earth ere the revelation

(12) A passion that only tears betrayed, and an inward ardency that increased the burning heats whose maladies brought me to ruin.

(13) The Flood of Noah is like my tears, when I lament, and the blazing of Abraham’s fire is like my bosom’s glow.

(14) But for my sighs, I should be drowned by my tears; and but for my tears, I should be burned by my sighs.

(15) That (grief) which Jacob uttered is the least of my sorrow, and all the woe of Job is but a part of my affliction;

(16) And the last sufferings of those who loved unto death are but a part of what I suffered in the beginning of my tribulation.

(17) Had the ear of my guide heard my moaning caused by pains of love-sickness which wasted my body,

(18) My grief would have called to his memory the bitter distress of travellers left behind, when the camels are reined (and ready for the journey).

(19) Anguish hath sorely oppressed and naughted me, and emaciation hath laid bare the secret of my true being;

(20) And in complaining of my leanness I made him who spied upon me my confidant, acquainting him with the sum of my inmost feelings and with the particulars of my way (in love).

(21) I appeared to him as an idea, while my body was in such case that he saw it not, because of the woeful burning of love that consumed it;

(22) And though my tongue spake not, the hidden conceptions of my soul revealed to his ear the mystery of that which my soul had concealed from him,

(23) And his ear became for my thought a mind, so that my thought was moving in his ear, which thereby stood him in stead of ocular vision;

(24) And he gave news of me to those in the tribe, setting forth my inward state, for he knew me well.

(25) ’Twas as though the Recording Angels had come down to his heart to inspire him with knowledge of what was written in my book (the book of my experience).

(26) He would not have known what I was covering and what was the guarded secret that my bosom hid,

(27) But the drawing aside of the bodily veil disclosed the secret, which it had screened from him, of my inmost soul.

(28) And I should have been invisible to him in respect of my secret unless my groans arising from the weakness of emaciation had divulged it,

(29) So that I was made visible by a malady that hid me from him: there is no strange thing but Love brings it to pass.

(30) A sore anguish o’erwhelmed me, at whose stroke the suggestions of my soul—suggestions that betrayed me, like tears—vanished into nothingness.

(31) If hateful death had sought me, it would not have known where I was, since I was concealed by concealing my love for thee (or ‘by thy love’s concealing me’).

(32) Betwixt yearning and longing I passed away, whilst thou didst either avert thyself in repulse or display thyself in presence.

(33) And were my heart sent back to me from thy court, to redeem my passing-away, it would not desire the abode of my exile.

(34) That whereof I declare unto thee a part is (only) the frontispiece of my state: ’tis beyond my power to express what lies underneath;

(35) And, being unable, I refrain from (speaking of) many matters; they shall not be recounted by my speech, and even if I told them, they would be few.

(36) My cure drew nigh unto death; nay, passion decreed that it should die, since the cooling of my thirst finds the heat of my burning drought (still remaining).

(37) And my heart is more threadbare than the garments of my endurance; nay, my selfhood is linked with my pleasure in respect of its being reduced to naught.

(38) Had God revealed me to my visitors (as I really am), and had they ascertained from the Tablet how much of me Love had allowed to survive,

(39) Their eyes would not have beheld anything of me except a spirit pervading the garments of a dead man.

(40) And ever since my tracks were obliterated and I wandered distraught, I had vain imaginings about my existence, but my thought could not lay hold upon it.

(41) And after this, my feelings (of love) for thee became self-subsistent (independent of my phenomenal being): my proof is the fact that my spirit existed before my mortal frame.

(42) I told how I fared in my love of thee, not because impatience made me weary of my sufferings, but in order to assuage my grief.

(43) ’Tis good to show fortitude towards enemies, but in the presence of loved ones aught save weakness is unseemly.

(44) The excellence of my patience keeps me from complaining, though if I complained to my enemies of what I feel, they would do away with my complaint.

(45) And the issue of my patience in loving thee is praiseworthy if I endure the sorrows thou layest on me; but if I endure to be separated from thee, it is not praiseworthy.

(46) Whatever woe befalls me is a favour, inasmuch as my purpose holds firm against breaking my vows;

(47) So for every pain in love, when it arises from thee, I give thanks instead of complaining.

(48) Ay, and if the agonies of passion do me despite, yet are they reckoned in love as a kindness;

(49) And my unhappiness, nay, my tribulation is a bounty when wrought by thee, and my raiment of hardship worn for thy sake is the most ample of felicities.

(50) My ancient fealty to thee caused me to regard the worst of slaves, who were bestowed on me (by thee), as the best of treasures.

(51) One of them a railer and one a slanderer: the former leads me astray because of vainglory, while the latter talks foolishness about me because of jealousy.

(52) I oppose that one in his blame, from fear (of God), and I ally myself with this one in his meanness, from caution.

(53) And my face was not turned from thy path by dread of that which I encountered, nor by any harm that smote me therein,

(54) Although in bearing what hath befallen me on account of thee I have no patience that tends to praise of me or to the lauding of my love;

(55) But thy beauty, which calls to thee (every heart), ordained that I should endure all that I have told and all the sequel of my tale to its farthest length.

(56) It was only because thou appearedst to mine eye with the most perfect qualities, surpassing (mortal) loveliness;

(57) And thou madest my tribulation an ornament to me and gavest it a free hand over me, and coming from thee it was the most glorious of distinctions;

(58) For when one is snared by Beauty, methinks his soul (even) from the most delicious life is (gladly) rendered up to death.

(59) A soul that thinks to meet with no suffering in love, when it addresses itself to love, is spurned.

(60) No spirit that was given repose ever gained love, nor did any soul that desired a tranquil life ever win devotion.

(61) Tranquillity! how far is it from the life of a lover! The garden of Eden is compassed about with terrors.

(62) Mine is a noble soul—a soul that would not forget thee even though thou shouldst offer it, on condition of forgetting thee, what is beyond its wishes;

(63) A soul that would not let go the true love I bear, even though it were removed far (from thee) by scorn and absence and hatred and the cutting off of hope.

(64) I have no way of departing from my Way in love, and if ever I shall turn aside from it, I shall abandon my religion;

(65) And had a thought of fondness towards any one save thee come into my mind unawares, I should have pronounced myself a heretic.

(66) ’Tis for thee to give judgment in my case. Do as thou wilt, for my feeling towards thee was ever desire, not aversion.

(67) I swear by the firm pact of love between us, which was not alloyed with any imagination of annulment—and ’tis the best of oaths—

(68) And by thy taking the covenant of troth in a place where I did not appear in such a form that my soul was clothed in the shadow of my clay,

(69) And by the primal pledge that never was changed since I plighted it, and by the succeeding bond that was too solemn for any frailty to loose,

(70) And by the rising of thy radiant countenance, whose splendour caused all the full moons to become invisible,

(71) And by the attribute of perfection in thee, from which the fairest and shapeliest form in creation drew support,

(72) And by the quality of thy majesty with which my torment is pleasant to me and my being slain is sweet;

(73) And by the mystery of thy beauty, whereby all loveliness in the world is manifested and fulfilled;

(74) And by thy comeliness which captivates the mind and which guided me to a love wherein my abasement for thy glory’s sake was comely;

(75) And by an idea in thee beyond comeliness—an idea which I beheld through itself, too subtle to be apprehended by the eye of perception:

(76) Verily, thou art the desire of my heart, and the end of my search, and the goal of my aim, and my choice and my chosen.

(77) I disrobed myself of modesty and deprecation, clothing myself in shamelessness, rejoicing in my disrobing and in my robe;

(78) And ’tis my duty to cast off modesty for thy sake, even though my folk shrink from approaching me; and shamelessness is my law.

(79) And no folk of mine are they, so long as they find fault with my recklessness and show hatred and deem it right to abuse me for thy sake.

(80) My fellows in the religion of love are those who love; and they have approved my ignominy and thought well of my disgrace.

(81) Let who will be wroth, save only thee: there is no harm (in their anger), when the noble of my kin are pleased with me.

(82) If the ascetics are fascinated by some of the beauties that are thine, everything in thee is the source of my fascination.

(83) And I never was bewildered until I chose love of thee as a religion. Woe is me for my bewilderment, had it not been on account of thee!”

(84) She said, “Another’s love thou hast sought and hast taken the wrong path, forsaking in thy blindness the highway unto me.

(85) And the imposture of a soul that cherished vain desires beguiled thee so that thou saidst what thou saidst, putting on thereby the shame of falsehood,

(86) And didst covet the most precious of boons with a soul that crossed its bound and trespassed.

(87) How wilt thou win my love, which is the best of affections, by means of pretence, which is the worst of qualities?

(88) Where is Suhá to a man blind from birth who in his confusion has forgotten what he seeks? Nay, thy vain hopes have duped thee,

(89) So that thou stoodest in a position to which thy rank was inferior, on a foot that overstepped not its own province,

(90) And soughtest a thing towards which how many stretched out their necks and were beheaded!

(91) Thou didst come to tents which are not entered by their back parts and whose doors are closed against the knocking of one like thee;

(92) And thou didst lay (as an offering) before thy converse (with me) mere tinsel, aiming thereby at a glory whose ends are hard to reach;

(93) And thou camest to woo my pure love with a shining face, not letting thine honour be lost in this world or in the next;

(94) But hadst thou been with me as the kasra below the dot of the letter b, thou wouldst have been raised to a rank that thine own effort did not gain for thee,

(95) Where thou wouldst see that what thou didst (formerly) regard is not worth a thought, and that what thou didst provide is no (sufficient) provision.

(96) To those who are rightly guided the straight road unto me is plain, but all men are made blind by their desires.

(97) It is time that I reveal (the nature of) thy love, and who it is that hath wasted thee, by a denial of thy claim to love me.

(98) Thou art sworn to love, but to love of self: amongst my proofs (of this) is the fact that thou sufferest one of thy attributes to remain in existence.

(99) For thou lov’st me not, so long as thou hast not passed away in me; and thou hast not passed away, so long as my form is not seen within thee.

(100) Cease, then, pretending to love, and call thy heart to something else, and drive thy error from thee by that (state) which (is the best).

(101) And shun the quarter of union: ’tis far off, and was never reached (in life), and lo, thou art living. If thou art sincere, die!

(102) Such is Love: if thou diest not, thou wilt not win thy will of the Beloved in aught. Then choose death or leave my love alone!”

(103) I said to her, “My spirit is thine: ’tis for thee to take it. How should it be in my power?

(104) I am not one that loathes to die in love—I am always true (to death): my nature refuses aught else.

(105) What should I hope to be said of me except ‘Such a one died of love’? Who will ensure me of that (death)?—for it is that I seek.

(106) Ay, it pleaseth me well that my life be ended by longing ere thou art gained, if my claim to love thee shall be found real;

(107) And if I shall not make good such a claim in regard to thee, because it is too high, I am content with my pride in being reputed thy lover;

(108) And if I die of anguish without the reputation, thou wilt have done no wrong to a soul that delights in martyrdom;

(109) And if thou wilt spill my blood in vain and I shall not be reckoned a martyr, ’tis grace enough for me that thou shouldst know the cause of my death.

(110) Methinks, my spirit is not worth so much that it should be offered in exchange for union (wiṣál) with thee, for it is too threadbare to be prized.”

The poet then refers to the warning that he must show his sincerity by dying to self. Does the Beloved threaten him with death?

(115) “To me thy menace is a promise, and its fulfilment is the wish of an affianced lover who stands firm against the blows of all calamity except absence (from thee).

(116) I have come to hope that which others fear: succour therewith a dead man’s spirit that is prepared for (everlasting) life!”

By passing-away (faná) the mystic wins immortal life in God (baqá).

(120) If she lets my blood be shed in love of her, yet hath she established my rank on the heights of glory and eminence.

(121) By my life, though I lose my life in exchange for her love, I am the gainer; and if she wastes away my heart, she will make it whole once more.

But this is an inward glory, which causes him to be scorned by his fellow-men.

(126) ’Tis as though I had never been honoured amongst them but they had always despised me both in easy fortune and in hard.

(127) Had they asked me “Whom dost thou love?” and had I declared her name, they would have said, “He speaks a parable,” or “A touch of madness hath smitten him.”

(128) Yet, had abasement for her sake been impossible, my passion had not been sweet to me; and but for love, my glory had not been in abasement.

(129) Because of her, I am endowed with the understanding of one crazed, the health of one shattered by disease, and the glory of ignominy.

The following lines, curiously subtle in their psychology and phrasing, represent the “self” (nafs) as desiring Divine Love, but keeping its desire beyond the reach of mental perception.

(130) My soul secretly imparted its desire for her love to my heart alone, where the intellect was unable to spy upon it;

(131) For I feared that the tale, if it were told, would transport the rest of me, so that the language of my tears would declare my secret.

(132) In order to keep safe that secret, part of me (my soul) was misleading part of me (my intellect), but my falsehood in hiding it was really my speaking the truth.

(133) And when my first (intuitive) thought refused to divulge it to my ribs (my mental faculties), I guarded it also from my reflection,

(134) And I did my utmost to conceal it, so that I forgot it and was caused to forget my concealment of that which my soul confided to my heart.

(135) And if in planting those desires I shall pluck the fruit of suffering, God bless a soul that suffered for its desires,

(136) Since of all love’s wishes the sweetest to the soul is that whereby she who caused it to remember and forget them willed it to suffer.

(137) She set, to guard her, one taken from myself who should watch against me the amorous approach of my spiritual thoughts;

(138) And if they, unperceived by the mind, steal into my heart without hindrance, I cast down mine eyes in reverent awe.

(139) Mine eye is turned back if I seek but one glance, and if my hand be stretched forth to take freely (its will of her), it is restrained.

(140) Thus in every limb of me is an advance prompted by hope, and in consequence of the awe born of veneration a retreat prompted by fear.

The poet now attempts to describe the mystical union of the lover with the Beloved.

(144) ’Tis my being crazed with love of her that makes me jealous of her; but when I recognise my worth (to be naught), I disown my jealousy,

(145) And my spirit is rapt in ecstatic joy (towards her), though I do not acquit my soul of conceiving a desire.

(146) Mine ear sees her, far though she be from the eye, in the form of blame which visits me in my hours of waking,

(147) And when she is mentioned, mine eye deems mine ear lucky, and the part of me that remains (in consciousness) envies the part that she has caused to pass away.

(148) In reality I led my Imám (leader in prayer), and all mankind were behind me. Wheresoever I faced, there was my (true) direction.

(149) Whilst I prayed, mine eye was seeing her in front of me, but my heart was beholding me in front of all my Imáms.

(150) And no wonder that in conducting the prayer the Imám faced towards me, since in my heart dwelt she who is the qibla of my qibla,

(151) And that towards me had faced all the six directions with their whole contents of piety and greater and lesser pilgrimage.

(152) To her I address my prayers at the Maqám, and behold in them that she prayed to me.

(153) Both of us are a single worshipper who, in respect of the united state, bows himself to his essence in every act of bowing.

(154) None prayed to me but myself nor did I pray to any one but myself in the performance of every genuflexion.

(155) How long shall I keep to the veil? Lo, I have rent it! ’Twas in my bond of allegiance that I should loose the loops of the curtains.

(156) I was given my fealty to her before she had appeared to me at the taking of the covenant, on a day when no day was, in my primal state.

(157) I gained my fealty to her neither by hearing nor by sight nor by acquisition nor by the attraction of my nature,

(158) But I was enamoured of her in the world of command, where is no manifestation, and my intoxication was prior to my appearance (in the created world).

(159) The attributes dividing us which were not subsistent there (in the world of command) Love caused to pass away here (in the created world), and they vanished;

(160) And I found that which I cast off going out of me unto me and again coming from me with an increase,

(161) And in my contemplation (of the Divine essence) I beheld myself endowed with the attributes by which I was veiled from myself during my occultation,

(162) And I saw that I was indubitably she whom I loved, and that for this reason my self had referred me to myself.

(163) My self had been distraught with love for itself unawares, though in my contemplation it was not ignorant of the truth of the matter.

Continuing Ibnu ’l-Fáriḍ shows that the railer and the slanderer (who symbolise respectively the sensual and intellectual attributes of the self) are in reality one with the Lover-Beloved. He next explains more fully what he meant when he spoke of the passing-away (faná) of these attributes (v. 159), and describes the successive stages by which his self (nafs) was gradually stripped bare of all the affections that stood between him and a purely disinterested love.

(168) I sought to approach her by sacrificing my self, reckoning upon her as my recompense and not hoping for any (other) reward from her; and she drew me nigh.

(169) I offered readily what was mine (of promised bliss) in the world to come and what she might peradventure give to me (of her grace),

(170) And with entire disinterestedness I put behind me any regard for that (self-sacrifice), for I was not willing that my self should be my beast of burden.

(171) I sought her with poverty, but since the attribute of poverty enriched me I threw away both my poverty and my wealth.

(172) My throwing away my poverty and riches assured to me the merit of my quest: therefore I discarded my merit,

(173) And in my discarding it my own welfare appeared: my reward was she who rewarded me, nothing else.

(174) And through her, not through myself, I began to guide unto her those who by themselves had lost the right ways; and ’twas she that (really) guided them.

The following verses (175-196) show the poet as a director of souls, preaching unselfishness, poverty, humility, and repentance; exhorting his disciple to lose no time and to beware of saying “To-morrow I will work”; bidding him shun vainglory and ambition; pointing out that the true gnostic is silent inasmuch as the mysteries revealed to him are incommunicable. All self-activity, all self-consciousness, must be renounced.

(194) Be sight (not a seer) and look; be hearing (not a hearer) and retain (what is heard); be a tongue (not a speaker) and speak, for the way of union (with the Beloved) is the best.

The detachment or isolation (tafríd) of the soul from all desires and affections costs bitter pain.

(197) Formerly my soul was reproachful: when I obeyed her, she disobeyed me, or if I disobeyed her, she was obedient to me.

(198) Therefore I brought her to that of which (even) a part was harder than death and I fatigued her that she might give me rest,

(199) So that she came to endure whatever burden I laid upon her, and if I lightened it she grieved.